Wednesday, May 13, 2009

cause it's free and I see that it's me

"Rainbow in the Dark" has been entrenched in my thinking for about two weeks now, not really in a locked loop, song-in-my-head way, but as something simmering inside on the verge of a boil. That ridiculous keyboard bit set over power chords like the fine silver around a paper plate at the kid's table would be the most awesome moment-of-truth music in a teen movie, like right before the hero kisses the girl or sets the school on fire.

When there's lightning - it always bring me down
Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found

Dio plays on vulnerability in "Rainbow in the Dark" joining the wounded pantheon of Hank Williams and Frank Sinatra, titans that recognize it is our quivering spines and not our steely exterior that express our humanity best. Staring at that lightning, Dio is Prufrock at the window, wondering how they all do it. How are they so free? How do I see myself in them, and yet are not them?

Do your demons - do they ever let you go
When you've tried - do they hide -deep inside
Is it someone that you know

Depression is, more than anything, a dark loop of narcissism that leaves you dubious that other people are actually successful at living their lives. If I am grasping at straws, what are they doing? At least I know I'm lost.

You're a picture - just an image caught in time
We're a lie - you and I
We're words without a rhyme

You only find your wings when flung into the void. Flight only happens when you are unsure there is a ground, and a body can't just keep falling. It won't let itself. It will take action and in that action, become radiant.

Like a Rainbow in the Dark

Dio - Holy Diver (listen)

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