Saturday, December 8, 2007

Uncle Lee's Premium Green Tea

I know you were all gnashing on the end of your infuser balls, wondering if I was going to find the perfect kind of green tea - well, gnash no more, for here it is. I got it from the Vietnamese grocery store under name Ten Fu tea, assuming this must be the real deal, but when I glanced on the label, I saw the Uncle Lee's logo glancing back - the same thing they have up at the Whole Foods. The global economy is a tricksy rabbit, y'all.

Anyway, real deal or not, this is good stuff. It starts out light and sweet and grows stronger as it cools, and on my second cup, I can start to feel the wicked superhuman powers green tea affords the astute drinker starting to take effect. Just now I heard a butterfly flap its wings in a lagoon in the South Pacific (via superhuman hearing), and I was able to fly around the earth counter (levitate, actually. Zen enlightenment taught me that gravity is not a law but a contract between the cold evil Earth and those weak enough in spirit to require being rooted to it, and that contract is easily broken as if it was inked on toilet paper) to its rotation to stop the ensuing monsoon generated exponentially from that Lepidoptera's unwitting but deadly nectar-gathering flit.

Understand that the monsoon never actually happened, in a linear temporal sense, because the powerful antioxidants therein allowed me to see it 10 steps ahead, like a chess playing supercomputer housed in some nondescript corrugated metal building in the barren edge of MIT's campus. It allows me to not merely solve problems, but eliminate the patterns that create problems. I'm scared to drink a third cup, lest I should become some sort of god.

Uncle Lee's Premium Loose Green Tea

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